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2/20/19

LOTD: M I G R A I N E

12:07 am:

I swallow the tiny orange pill. Migraine, the neurologist had named the bastard on the
 right side of my head, after probing me with questions about my personal life & lifestyle. He had his hand under his chin & made eye contact. I had my hand on my Michael Kors 'Cynthia' satchel & made up some lies about my daily routine. 
What a dull suburban existence I painted for him. If he only knew....

1:45 am:

I'm staring at a meme of a cat clawing at a donut from 
a distance & then withdrawing, like it's an explosive. 
[Caption: 'Me on a diet']
I imagine myself at ZARA doing the same when I see another winter jacket I don't really need. 
The pill should make me drowsy by now. My head throbs & my right eye twitches. 
I shut my eyes. 

2:20 am:

I'm running my fingers on a thick vein that's popped up on my forehead.
It feels like a worm, eww! Was Monica's Thanksgiving vein like this? 
Arghh! Useless pill! 1 week & nothing!
 I'll call the Doctor tomorrow.....

*Oh, c'mon! You don't need a CT Scan! Don't treat me like your fucking enemy! 
I'm your friend & I'm here to tell you something 
that's already in your head. You know something. 
What is it? I will not leave until you see it! 
OPEN YOUR EYES! OPEN YOUR EYES, GODDAMNIT!!!*

3:43 am:

I'm sweating. My eyes & pillow are wet. I can't move. 
I saw. On the ceiling. Faces...images....answers.
Like iron on quicksand, I sink into slumber in seconds. 

11:16 am:

I toss 7 tiny orange pills I no longer need in the bin. Tricyclic Antidepressants, Google informs. 
For treatment of Migraines, Depression & Bedwetting. 
10-year-old CZ finally gets an explanation for the humiliating recurrent bedwetting. 
What child can link susu on the bed to depression? I forgive her now.


Past & Present mysteries. Unraveled.


Follow your heart, they say. But your head.... your head will always 
give you more than you bargained for - if you'd only listen to what it has to say. 


*************



Top: ZARA

Jeans: Aeropostle

Hairband: Forever 21

Lipstick: Fenty Beauty Stunna Lip Paint in Uncensored.